Firemen Ain't My Heroes

To be played while reading

I don't remember when I started masturbating but it was at a young age. I can remember doing it as far back as third grade, whatever age that is. It doesn't matter, the point is I've been a horny motherfucker all my life. The first, second and last thing on my mind each and every day is fucking almost every female I lay eyes on. I see one and I immediately fantasize about sex with her, however, that fantasy will be replaced if a different woman that I find appealing crosses my path. Hiding boners is de rigueur for me.

My sex drive is either normal and I'm the only one who thinks it isn't or a 5 hour sex marathon in which you cum 6 times is par for the course and I should shut the fuck up. I don't think I'm normal though, no one who can jack off 23 times in a week is fucking normal. I'm like the lion at the zoo, like a sex lion in a zoo, my natural urges are forcefully suppressed. I talk about sex excessively. I've talked about my deepest sexual desires openly but people either think I'm joking or they know I'm being honest and scoff at me and call me perverted, imagine the ridicule and shame. But there are men out there, very few, who fucking do it anyway, who wont let there most primal manly urges be tucked behind an ugly sweater vest, beige Camry and a 401k because some Protestant fucks tell them it's not okay to want to fuck everything with a coin slot between its legs. Those men are my heroes.

Ray, you're a fucking pussy.

Famous Lotharios such as Casanova, Rasputin, Gabriele D'Annunzio. Men like Larry Flynt, Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione and other famous pornographers. Men who have the balls to stand up to the chorus of castrated beta males and shrieking hoards of feminists and say "I LIKE SEX AND FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!". All I ever wanted was endless amounts of poon thrown at me and bask in it without having to feign restraint or remorse. But in this day and age, in this economy, you can't slip up because if Cathy from HR see's you so much as glance at Judy's high and tight backside it's game over for you Mr. Rapist. But my plight isn't even that bad because I had the nastiest of conversations on a regular basis with my female co-workers but when you know a person it's different. I can't go out and say the same things within ear shot of strangers because people get offended, and I don't really give a shit but I have to. I'm not in a position of power where I can do and say shit and everyone just shuts the fuck up, that shit doesn't happen to me. The only reason I want to be rich and/or famous is so I can do whatever the fuck I want and say whatever the fuck I want without any negative repercussions to my financial well being or freedom, and the requisite parade of pussy that comes along with that. That is it. That is as far as I have thought it through and fuck, party and drive fast cars and race my motorcycles is what I will do when I get my money power be the glory of pussy!

Which brings me back to my heroes. Much has been said over the decades about men like Hugh Heffner and his contemporaries at Penthouse and Hustler but all of it is wrong. Jealous men who wish they had that life, who wished they had the balls to chase pussy like Pepe Le Pew when they were young, who dream of growing some balls and standing up to the women in their lives that order them around like subjugated puppy dogs. The same goes for the disgusting fugs disguised as women who scream choruses of "Creep", "Sicko", "Misogynist" and "Rapist".

Call the police she's being raped.

Jealous haters who would rather shame people into conformity than turn that hatred inward and recognize their own shortcomings. Pussies and lazy, fat slobs. Nothing but crabs in a bucket. I've never known a man who has slept with a lot of women actually hate women. They might hate a particular woman but not women. It's always the one's who don't get any tail that hate women, wonder why that is? So what is it that drives these people to so fervently hate a man who so fully louts his testicular fortitude or the woman that fully embraces her femininity? It's nothing but jealousy. Men get jealous of successful men because it reminds them they're pussies who can never be great because they are afraid to show the world who they are. Women hate feminine women because they are jealous that they cannot compete for the same high-quality men that go for feminine women. 

I'm even confused when men start getting their undies in a bunch and start ranting and raving about how feminists are destroying the world and blah blah blah. Do they have a part in our collapse? Oh fuck yes but instead of crying about it on the interwebs stand up and be a fucking man. Work on making lots of money, hit the gym, do cool shit, travel, immerse yourself in your hobbies, read a lot, learn shit, build stuff and if you see a girl you like for Christ's sake hit on her! Do shit that will put you at the top of the cake so you don't have to deal with the bullshit below. 

This guy knows.

You know why? Because all of this, civilization, was built by great men who wanted to get some fucking pussy. Nature is built on getting pussy. It's why the lion kills things, because he doesn't want to be killed and miss out on some snatch. The world revolves around raw dogging a woman until she explodes with pleasure juices and you refill her with yours. That is why denying your sexuality is denying your nature and why you're so fucking scared and miserable. 

You know when I'm pissed? When I ain't gettin' tang. You know what pisses me off? When people get all offended when I'm talkin' bout tang. Pussy should be the answer to any question asked of a man about his success. 

"Why'd you start a company that makes sick ass futuristic gadgets that have revolutionized the way humans connect to eachother?"

"Why did you train your ass off and work harder than everyone else so you could win all those championships and become so great at your sport that everyone who will every play it will be compared to you even if they can't possibly compare to you?"

You get the idea. Pussy is literally the most important thing what makes you think that it isn't the end all? Life is made inside of it. You were conceived inside of a pussy and it is the reason you exist. After you're born it is still the reason you exist. Protect it, love it and when it needs to be hate it. You know what Mike Tyson said when he found Robin Givens getting her shit handed to her by the dick side of Brad Pitt? He said, "I was just depressed I couldn't bone her no more", call him crazy but at least he recognizes real. 

If I could be I would be Caligula on weekends and lesser Caligula on weekdays. You know why I am willing to spend hours upon hours crafting a perfect business plan so I can get funded and become a multi-millionaire? Tang. You know why I design even though nothing I design will be released for another few years? Because I want to be recognized as a top designer in the world and be adored by hot women who are in to fashion and jewelry so I can hit that tang! It's simple. There is no shame in using your riches, fame, cool car or awesome hobby to get laid. It is the quintessential trait of man. 

Find something you're good at and exploit it for personal gain.

Hugh Hefner was good at getting girls to pose naked so he started Playboy. Senna loved racing so he became F1 World Champion. Clinton was great at getting his dick sucked so he became President...do you see what I'm talking about!? All of these great men exploited their strengths and passions to become top dog and top dogs love one thing more than anything else, top shelf pussy. So if your dream is to be a great author don't make the CEO of Turbo Tax your hero. I don't want to save kittens from trees that's why firemen ain't my heroes.

End rant. And now for some eye candy...

I have so many pics of hot women it was impossible to choose so I went with default #1.

This is Adriana she is 100% certified, Grade A, top shelf pussy. Overall 10/10.